Happy Hubby – Happy Marriage?

Well – we have here a very tall order – and perhaps a controversial one. Does the success of a marital relationship depend on the wife’s experience, behavior, personality and feelings or does it depend on the husband’s.  Are both equal or is the preponderence of the responsibility belong to only one of them or does the gender really matter at all. There is no end to what can be said if this question is actually presented. No doubt individual subjectivity and personal experience would be a large factor in the expressed (and perhaps heated) opinions.

Any insight into the key to marital success is worthwhile – and so unfolds the result of research at the University of Chicago.  Like any study involving any group of individuals, there is always the possibility that a different group could have resulted in a different outcome. Let’s however weigh the results presented here on their merits.

Some excerpts from the study:

Lead author James Iveniuk, a PhD candidate in the University of Chicago’s Department of Sociology, and his researchers examined 953 (heterosexual) couples in which the husbands and wives’ ages ranged from 63 to 90 years old. They also analyzed gender differences through gathering personality traits. The researchers concluded that a husband with an agreeable personality and good health is essential to the preservation of a marriage. If the wife is in poor health, there doesn’t seem to be any difference in terms of the quality of the marriage for the husband.

The study, “Marital Conflict in Older Couples: Positivity, Personality, and Health,” was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in February. A surprising finding of the study was that the wives’ characteristics and well-being played a lesser role in the status of a marriage.

They found that wives report more conflict if their husband is in poor health and more discord if a husband lacked high levels of positivity. The researchers examined traits such as openness to experience, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, anxiety, and positivity. Positivity, or a “person’s overall desire to be seen in a positive light,” was found to be a crucial factor.

Additionally, men who reported themselves as neurotic or extroverted were more likely to have a wife who complained more about the quality of their marriage. That trait was seen as a more “gender-appropriate” role for women, so it didn’t prove to be a good mix when a man possessed that quality.

But the main determinants of a good marriage were reliant on positivity and good health. Good health is one thing we can control to a certain extent, but growing older can cause health to fall out of one’s own control. Positive thinking is something everyone can practice and maintain. A Huffington Post article elaborated upon the science of positive thinking, as have many doctors along with medical and health experts.

“Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude,” wrote James Clear in this Huffington Post article. “Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile.”

Click here   and  here  to read the source articles.